Man if you want to learn you need to lose the attitude. If someone had that attitude in person I'd be just as reluctant to help as I am with you here online. There's a lot of stuff online that would help you a LOT if you just took the time to search for it and read it or watch the instructional videos.
You don't have an incredibly daunting tune in front of you, it's a cam, is N/A, it's running on normal pump gas... You're getting 2 steps into a fairly well documented process, and when it's not complete at "plugged cable into car and inserted HPTuners CD into laptop" you're throwing your hands in the air and saying everything sucks. Change your outlook on what you're trying to do, accept that those who are trying to help also at one point did not know what was going on inside the PCM, and be constructive with what you think say and do. You might not have been done yet, but it would drive really nice by now if you'd done that from the get go.